Tuesday, March 20, 2012

She Says; She Means: "I'm Fine"

Okay, Here for all you guys out there who have trouble figuring out the difference between what a woman says and what she means.

Here are some guidelines. When we say something we mean it, when we START to say it. The phrase may become inoperative very quickly thereafter.

Phrase Number 1 "I'm fine"

~Coming from men, this mean's"Everything is fine, there are no problems, all is copascetic."

~Coming from a woman this mean's "I was fine."

~Fine for women doesn't mean that everything is copascetic, it just means that I am, at present, managing any and all difficulties to an acceptable degree. These problems do not, yet, involve or centre on you.

~I totally understand, no, I totally know that this is the answer you want to hear. I totally understand that you only ask the question, but you really don't want to know what or if anything is wrong. You really don't care. You just want to make sure you aren't the reason for the look on my face. Your query rings insincere.

~My "I'm fine" allows you to go back to watching your hockey game and drinking your beer. It allows you to continue in your mistaken belief that you are not an insensitive, uncaring, insincere jerk.

~This total lack of sincerity on your part belies the real motive behind your mock concern prompting you to ask the requisite question. You just want to make sure I don't disturb you during the game. On top of whatever else I was managing, I now have to deal with the knowldge that the man I love and care about is an insincere, uncaring, insensitive brute. Now I am angry, and it is all your fault.

Please note: This entire thought process can occur in less time than it takes to actually utter the phrase, "I'm fine."

YOU are free to leave man-brain stumping phrases in the commbox. I will choose one to translate next Tuesday.

3 comments:

Bear-i-tone said...

"Does this make me look fat?"

Anonymous said...

I am pretty sure when a women asks that she is saying "I am feeling insecure about my looks please say 'no' so I can feel better about my self"

I think

I am a young lady who has never asked that question

Puff the Magic Dragon said...

@ Anonymous

If you have never asked Bear's suggested question, it's because you have never felt the need to ask, most probably because being young, you are probably as thin as a rake, and are still in the first blush of youth. I wish for you to enjoy your youth, and everything good that comes with it for a long time. And may you live your entire life(long life may I add) and never feel the need to ask that question of your husband.

But understand this, your comment coming from someone who has never asked the question, becomes insulting.

First rule of explaining a phrase is you must have used it at least once.

As I said in the post I will explain any suggestions on Tuesday

Scripture to keep in mind

Six things there are, which the Lord hateth, and the seventh his soul detesteth: [17] Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, [18] A heart that deviseth wicked plots, feet that are swift to run into mischief, [19]A deceitful witness that uttereth lies, and him that soweth discord among brethren. [20] My son, keep the commandments of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother. ***Cf:Douay-Rheims Proverbs 6: 16-20

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